International Women’s Day is often a moment to celebrate progress. But it’s also a chance to reflect on the realities that still shape how women operate in business and negotiation is one of them.
In theory, negotiation should be neutral. Outcomes should depend on preparation, clarity of thinking and the ability to hold a constructive conversation about value. In reality, negotiations happen between people, and people bring assumptions, expectations and biases into the room.
For women, that can create a slightly different playing field.
One of the most common challenges is the balancing act between being assertive and being perceived as likeable. Behaviour that is often praised as confident or decisive in men can sometimes be interpreted differently when demonstrated by women. The result is that many women enter negotiations weighing not only what they want to say, but how it might be perceived.
We see this play out in everyday negotiations across New Zealand. A senior manager in a large New Zealand organisation recently shared her experience of negotiating a significant pay review after taking on expanded responsibilities. She had delivered strong commercial results and had clear evidence to support her case. Yet when it came time to negotiate, her first instinct was to soften her request and position it cautiously, worried about appearing demanding. Only after encouragement from a mentor did she reframe the conversation around the value she was delivering and the impact of her role. The outcome was very different than it would have otherwise been.
This hesitation isn’t about capability. In our experience working with negotiators across industries, many women demonstrate exceptional strengths that directly contribute to effective negotiation - strong preparation, the ability to read the room, careful listening and a focus on long-term relationships. These are not soft skills. They are commercial advantages.
The challenge is often not whether women can negotiate effectively, but whether they feel comfortable claiming the full value of what they bring.
Negotiation, at its core, is simply a structured conversation about value. It isn’t about being the loudest person in the room or pushing aggressively for a win. It’s about understanding what matters to both sides and navigating the conversation, trading rather than giving away value too easily.
As workplaces continue to evolve, the most successful negotiators will not be those who fit an outdated stereotype. They will be those who prepare thoroughly, listen carefully and hold their ground when it matters.
This International Women’s Day is a reminder that negotiation capability has nothing to do with gender. But creating environments where everyone feels confident to negotiate and has the skills to negotiate well. This is something organisations should still be actively working towards.
